What To Ask On A First Date
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Went to Mavis The Grocer with Hazel of Abbotsford: likes dogs, hates crusts, thinks everyone should be nice to each other.

We walked through ye olde milkbar style indoor area, past the amazing custard cronuts and lemon flavoured pastry things on the cabinet, through the hallway that dangles freedom in the faces of the kitchen staff, and out to the umbrella covered courtyard that is littered with plant boxes, boxes with plants and plants in boxes.

Haze ordered a pancake, Sprink ordered the potato mushroom stack of hangover cure and within seconds both plates were empty. Hazel asked Sprink to a birthday party that afternoon with the promise of ‘sweets and dancing’ two key ingredients to guarantee a good time, and Sprink was tempted, however..

S: Sozza boo, I have a date this arvo.
H: Before you hold hands, you should ask him about the realistics of things.
S: OK. What do you mean by realistics?
H: (sighs) Write down these questions and ask him them and it will be good and you can marry.

  • why do people plant trees?
  • why do people build cranes?
  • do you want kids? Boys can’t have kids unless they have a girl living with them, so can we live together first?
  • Do you have friends and do you like your car?
  • Lets talk about music: do you like Tash Sultana?
  • Do you want some flowers what kind do you like cos if I find them I’ll bring them to you are they daisy or poppies or sunflowers?

Sprink thanked the small child who then took many photos of the café including the one above which is a damn SNAP if I’ve ever seen one.
Howevs, fast forward a few days, and the questions didn’t work, there was no hand holding, so actually, don’t take advice from a 5 year old, they’re idiots.

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