Having a loving and healthy relationship is not easy. It takes constant effort, communication, and trust to maintain it. Even the happiest couples will have disagreements from time to time. Some arguments can even be productive if both partners are willing to work things out and not let small issues fester. However, some arguments can spiral out of control or become an ongoing issue that affects your partnership. Here are 7 tips on how you can resolve arguments with your partner so that you both feel understood and heard. If you feel like shouting at your partner more than you feel like holding their hand, then chances are you need some tips on how to fix things with them before they spiral out of control and destroy your relationship altogether.

Communicate clearly with your partner

The first step in resolving an argument is to communicate clearly with your partner. An effective way to do this is to use “I” statements. This will help you to avoid being accusatory and will help your partner feel understood. An example of an “I” statement would be, “I feel frustrated when we have to re-schedule our plans because you have to work late.” It is important to remember that the other person is not necessarily at fault, but they may just have different ways of viewing the situation. Your partner may feel like their work schedule is completely legitimate and that you are unfairly blaming them. You need to try to understand their point of view as well. Another important part of resolving arguments with your partner is to make sure you’re communicating in a way that your partner can understand. This could mean taking a break from the conversation if it is getting too heated and coming back to it after both of you have had time to process what’s happening. It could also mean trying to use different language than what you normally use. If one of you tends to be more logical and the other is more emotional, those qualities might be causing some of the misunderstandings in the conversation.

Set a time to talk about the issue

Sometimes couples will let a disagreement fester and escalate into a huge fight. It is much better to resolve an issue as soon as you can after it has happened. At the same time, it is important to be mindful of the tone and atmosphere in which you talk about the issue. If the two of you are feeling angry or stressed, it is probably not the best time to have a discussion. Try waiting until you have both calmed down and are in a better frame of mind to talk. This will give you time to properly process what has happened and will help you both to communicate more effectively. You could also try setting up a time to talk about the issue in the future. This will give you both space to process what happened and will allow you to approach the conversation in a calmer environment. For example, you could try saying something like, “I am feeling frustrated by how we handled plans this week. I’d like to talk about it next weekend when things are less hectic.”

Identify what’s really bothering you

It is important to identify what is actually bothering you about the situation, especially if you are feeling defensive about your actions. For example, let’s say that your partner was late for a date because their car broke down. You might feel annoyed and think that they were inconsiderate for being late. You might also make some assumptions about their behaviour (e.g. your partner is always late or doesn’t care about you). However, if you take a moment to reflect and listen to what your partner has to say, you might realize that they were actually stuck in a bad situation and that they were actually trying to make the best of it. You might also realize that you were being overly critical of your partner and that, in fact, they were not being inconsiderate at all. Being open-minded and reflecting on the situation will help you to avoid jumping to conclusions and will help you to identify what is really bothering you.

Remember that communication is key

When two people are in love, they are often excited about spending as much time together as possible. However, too much togetherness can actually cause couples to get on each other’s nerves more often. Couples who are together 24/7 are often more likely to blow up at each other and let small issues fester. Therefore, it is important to give each other space and to communicate clearly when you want more time together. For example, you could say, “I love spending time with you, but I also need some space. Can we try to go out on one date each week?” It is also important to listen to your partner when they communicate with you. Many couples have a difficult time with this. If your partner tells you something and you don’t respond or acknowledge it, it could make them feel invisible and unimportant. This could lead to an argument and hurt feelings. Therefore, it is important to listen to your partner when they are talking to you and acknowledge their feelings, even if you don’t agree with them. For example, if your partner brings up that they feel frustrated because you always pick up the slack around the house, acknowledge their feelings. You don’t have to agree with their statement, but you could say, “I understand that you feel frustrated because I clean up after dinner most nights.”

Don’t bring up old issues and be apologetic

After you have communicated with your partner, if you still feel like the issue isn’t resolved, you should try to let it go. Bringing up old issues will likely just cause new fights. For example, if your partner kept you waiting for a date a few months ago and made you feel like they didn’t care about you, they probably already feel bad about it. Bringing it up again will only cause more hurt and will probably be a source of resentment for both of you. It is important to forgive and forget. Remember, your relationship is a living, breathing thing. It will change and grow over time. It is important to stay flexible and to forgive each other for mistakes. Being able to forgive each other is a sign of strength, not weakness. It shows that both of you are willing to let go of resentment and anger and are willing to move forward as a stronger couple.

Consider visiting a couples psychologist

In some cases, disagreements and misunderstandings between partners can become so frequent and so severe that it might be a good idea to visit a couples psychologist clinic. A couples therapist is a neutral third party who can help you and your partner to communicate more effectively and work through your issues. Couples therapy is a good idea if one or both of you feel like you are constantly fighting with each other or if you feel like you are growing apart because of your relationship issues. Couples therapy can help heal relationship wounds, improve communication, and help couples to identify and overcome relationship pitfalls. Couples therapy is beneficial for couples of all backgrounds and all ages. Couples therapy can be helpful for couples at any stage of their relationship.


An unhappy relationship can be very stressful, especially for those who are in love and want to be with their partner for the long haul. It’s important to remember that it takes time and effort to nurture a healthy relationship. That means being open to constructive criticism, putting in the time to actively work on your relationship, and being willing to confront unhealthy behaviour when it arises. A relationship is something that needs to be worked on regularly. If you find yourself in a situation where you and your partner are fighting frequently, it might be a good idea to seek help from a couples therapist and to read some relationship books.

Feature Image By fizkes

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Mick created TAGG - The Alternative Gig Guide in 1979 with Helmut Katterl, the world's first real Street Magazine. He had been involved with his fathers publishing business, Toorak Times and associated publications since 1972.  Mick was also involved in Melbourne's music scene for a number of years opening venues, discovering and managing bands and providing information and support for the industry. Mick has also created a number of local festivals and is involved in not for profit and supporting local charities.