If the answer is short, what is question?
Well I’m glad you asked, because the question is also short/s?
To be more specific, the question is how does an adult male wear shorts without also gaining the assumption from the general public that they own a velcro wallet?
Julia Jacklin put it best, “I really hate showing my legs, Even when the Sydney summer begs me” (Eastwick, 2017).
There is not only a stigma around men wearing shorts, but it can often be a source of body insecurity for all genders too. In Australia, boys especially, grow up in shorts. I don’t think that I, myself, owned a pair of trousers until I was 17. Then we are slowly, but surely, coerced into doing the “adult thing” and donning a garment that drapes past our knees. So it is marked, the beginning of manhood and as hard as it was to start wearing trousers on a daily basis. It is even harder going back the other way.
In a sprawling metropolis such as Melbourne, it feels wrong wearing shorts when the city skyline is still in view. It is not until we are out in coastal towns that we feel it is appropriate to do away with the shoes and slide into some trunks. Can shorts be worn on a summers day in the big smoke, and how?
Any seasoned Melburnian knows that the amount of days where it is simply impossible to wear anything other than a t-shirt and shorts, can be counted on your hands. It is this knowledge that we’re able to use to our advantage. That is because layering what’s up top, when it’s nothing but shorts down the bottom. Helps to draw the eyes away from those knobbly knees and perpetuate a triangular silhouette throughout the outfit. Consider layering a button up over a t-shirt, or even an over-shirt/light jacket if the evening air is packing a chill. Continuing down this route, slim shoes are our friends. Avoid chunky footwear, as they create an imbalance in the outfit. Even more so for men, as we tend to have larger feet to begin with.
The goal is a pair of shorts that will take you from the beach to bistro, rather than shopping centre to skate park. When selecting the style of shorts, it is very much dependent on the occasion. A wider-legged pleated short can be dressed up. While a shorter cut, cotton pair of shorts, suits relaxed and even coastal outings. One thing is always true however. Avoid anything with a pattern. I’m particularly thinking of those abhorrent plaid, chino shorts that for some reason experienced a moment in the late 2000s.
The truth of the matter is. If you want to wear something, wear it. We all experience apprehension and a level of self-consciousness when trying something new with what we wear. It just takes time to get comfortable with wearing that new item. Whether that be shorts, short-shorts or budgy smugglers. The confidence might not be there initially, but trust me. It will come. Go ahead, show off those stalks of yours.
And the short answer is yes. We can see your tan-lines.
