From the outset, it’s clear Mark and Phoebe (Emma Choy) are headed for divorce. Scenes that unfold later provide context for their marital breakdown—Mark’s simmering anger issues and his growing sense of inadequacy he feels as a father and provider. Mark’s inability to control his rage lies at the heart of the story, with each scene revealing just how deep these issues run.
A recurring theme is the guilt Phoebe feels for not seeing the early warning signs of Mark’s abusive behaviour. In a telling moment, she explains Mark’s anger as mere “excitement”—a subtle commentary on how patterns of emotional abuse are often excused or overlooked. However, this play is less about Phoebe’s experiences and more about Mark’s inner turmoil, which unfortunately remains somewhat elusive throughout the performance.
Ryland Mitchell plays their son Liam, a quiet and withdrawn figure who spends much of the play perched on a second level of the stage, watching (or reminiscing) his parents below. Liam’s passive presence, often listening to music and retreating into his own world, serves as a metaphor for the emotional isolation children of abusive households often feel. The drum set beside him, used at crucial moments, is a subtle but powerful representation of the mounting tension and chaos that builds within him as he witnesses his parents’ struggles.
Paul Mitchell himself plays Reg, Mark’s deceased father, who dominates the stage as a ghostly presence. Reg’s influence on Mark is palpable with his constant berating and evocation of past violent incidents. This spectral presence highlights how rigid, destructive notions of manhood are passed down, leaving Mark trapped in his father’s shadow, unable to escape the cycle of anger and violence.
While the production successfully creates an atmosphere of tension and portrays the cyclical nature of aggression, Mark’s emotional journey feels somewhat incomplete. His fishing buddy (Philip Hayden) directly asks why he beat his wife, but the audience is left without a real answer. Similarly, the counsellor (Miles Paras) who attempts to guide Mark through his issues offers little in terms of new insight into Mark’s motivations. By the end, it feels as though I am no wiser or have any deeper understanding of Mark’s actions then I did at the start. Perhaps this is indicative of Mark’s own lack of introspection and awareness. If he never truly understands why he has done what he has, can the audience going on this journey know any more?
There are moments when You’re The Man hints at opportunities for the next generation to break free from this cycle. Phoebe’s realisation that her son must address his experiences emphasises as much.
Ultimately, You’re The Man succeeds in portraying the damaging effects of generational trauma and the rigid expectations placed on men. However, it leaves unanswered questions about the root of Mark’s anger, making the story feel emotionally incomplete. The play offers a compelling portrayal of domestic violence but could benefit from delving deeper into the internal conflict driving its main character.
Dates:
Sep 4 – Sep 15
Times:
Wed: 6.30pm
Thurs, Fri, Sat: 7.30pm
Sun: 3pm
Running time: 80 mins
Venue:
La Mama Courthouse
349 Drummond Street, Carlton VIC
Photography by Darren Gill – (Foreground: Justin Bell, Background: Paul Mitchell)
