The time I (almost) dated Rob Mills

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Dear Diary,

How are you? It’s been ages. I’ve been busy, finished skewl, uni, went to London and when I came back in 2006, I saw the guy who used to work at the Monash uni bar on TV. His name was Rob Mills and I was like ‘oh yeah I remember him, his hair is way better now’.

Ok fast forward to last Saturday when my good pal and Sprinkee DonnaD invited me as her numbero two (#1 declined the invite) to the Alannah & Madeline Foundation Charity Ball last week. I said OMGYASPLSKWEEN, bought a $10 silk dress from a garage stall at midday, got the zip fixed for $35, went to an arvo BBQ party for Dana From Preston who was hanging goon bags on the hills hoist as I left, and rolled up to Crown Palladium at 630pm wearing a bow tie for a necklace because I know how to do red carpet.

Rob Mills was hosting with #somelady but I wasn’t paying attention to anything else because he said over the microphone he was single. So, checklist in my head: sings, dances, straight, single.

The started to make donations but I am an introvert lol jks I am a wuss so I got on Instagram and posted:  ‘Um.. @robmillsymills you’re single? Me too. I’m also wearing a bow tie so we have everything in common. I’ll donate $505.54 for a date. Must include karaoke’.  I got a few likes. Nothing happened. The ball ended. DonnaD patted me on the shoulder ‘At least you tried’.

Five days later, I was back at Crown Palladium for the Tourism Awards. Rob Mills was hosting again. It was fate. I found him at the end of the night talking to someone who wasn’t me so I walked up and elbowed my way into his face.

‘Hey Rob Mills nice work tonight glad you got to sing you’re so great so I was at the ball last Saturday and you missed out on making an extra $500  I Instagrammed that I would donate it if you went on a date with me so do you want to go on a date with me?’

His smile softened. He straightened his non-perscribed glasses and swallowed. ‘Oh that was you? Yes I saw that. Ha yeah that was funny’

He turned and pretended to talk to the wall. I then vowed I would never tell anyone what happened.

So Diary I’m now going to burn you. CYA

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