The Tarot Card Reading
BY SAM THE REVIEWING THINGS GUY
House of Tarot @ Port Melbourne – I recently lost my tarot V card with Tania at HoT in Port Melbourne who is Melbourne’s answer to Lizzo. She was preaching all kinds of self-love and I WAS THERE FOR IT. If you’ve never pulled cards, here’s what you* need to know:
- Your colleagues about your upcoming reading, they will 100% take the piss out of you.
- When you arrive, have an open mind and don’t laugh when Tania talks about a “third eye”
- If she offers you lemon cake say yes FFS IT WAS SO GOOD
- When you start to cry, the tissues are on the floor beside you against the wall (Tania told me after I screamed “I’M CRYING HERE, TANIA”)
- Don’t get an Uber Pool home, especially if your emotional nooks and crannies have been opened
*Obvs experiences differ etc etc and keep in mind, I’m a super emotional bish #cancer
Side note: my cards told me that I’m overdue for love, so pls email Sprink if you wanna go on a date. I’m 24, homo (duh) and love Sister Act 2.