tarot reading

The Tarot Card Reading

BY SAM THE REVIEWING THINGS GUY

House of Tarot @ Port Melbourne – I recently lost my tarot V card with Tania at HoT in Port Melbourne who is Melbourne’s answer to Lizzo. She was preaching all kinds of self-love and I WAS THERE FOR IT. If you’ve never pulled cards, here’s what you* need to know:

  1. Your colleagues about your upcoming reading, they will 100% take the piss out of you.
  2. When you arrive, have an open mind and don’t laugh when Tania talks about a “third eye”
  3. If she offers you lemon cake say yes FFS IT WAS SO GOOD
  4. When you start to cry, the tissues are on the floor beside you against the wall (Tania told me after I screamed “I’M CRYING HERE, TANIA”)
  5. Don’t get an Uber Pool home, especially if your emotional nooks and crannies have been opened

*Obvs experiences differ etc etc and keep in mind, I’m a super emotional bish #cancer

Side note: my cards told me that I’m overdue for love, so pls email Sprink if you wanna go on a date. I’m 24, homo (duh) and love Sister Act 2.

 

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