Mishy Moo – Wild Child

This is Mishy Moo. She went to 4 primary schools and 4 high schools over three different countries. She left Hawaii island lyf where she’d go to school barefoot, to Melbs to endure school uniforms and the 109 tram. She sang in bands and ripped up Melbs with her maddawg crew, when a couple of them decided to go to Tokyo for two weeks and she was like ‘K, imma comin’. That was ten years ago and Moo is still there.

What was being a geisha hostess like?
I wasn’t a traditional geisha – they’re in Kyoto and legit. But I got paid to dress up and act like one at private clubs in Tokyo for rich and powerful clients – politicians, scientists, actors, singers etc. They tipped us everything – girls had their rent paid, I got given diamond rings. But no sex. I know you’re gonna ask that. 100% nil.

Yes I was def gonna ask. How’d you end up on TV?
I got crunk at a bar one night being normal aka loud and obnoxious, and some producer was there watching me. He thought I was hilarious then asked me if I wanted to be on a show. Nek minnit, I was in a “celebrity show” representing Australia about “Hot topics of the world”. From there I was offered modelling jobs for hair, diamond, clothing companies, and moved to NY for a bit to did stuff for Versace.

Dude wtf. Weirdest job?
I was hosting a Vice/HBO show and I was dating a Japanese rapper who was part of the underworld of Japan and could get me in touch with anyone – including the woman who invented ‘Tsukatolo’ aka ‘poo play’. She made millions. I’m not even kidding.

Ahahhaahah what the actual bro!?
There are secret bars in Tokyo where you can choose from a menu of meat, then a girl who has only eaten that meat for the last month, comes out and poops on a golden plate. Then either she – or the guy who is paying – eats it.

Don’t you get sick from eating poo?
Yeah but they had some thing she did to conquer that.

How about music?
I was in a band in Melb at 16 and continued singing as a hobby the whole time, everything from rap, punk to big ballads. About six years ago I met a really famous Japanese musician – the guitar player from Southern All Stars (equiv of INXS) and we toured together as a duo for a while.

Siiiiick, and you’re also an anime character like NBD
I went to a party where some old dude thought I was a tranny. He told me he loved my voice and wanted to do something with it. Turned out he started Gundam – Japan’s biggest anime production company – so he had a character called Steer created for me.

Then you bounced to LA?
I wanted to be a big actress in Hollywood for awhile and was literally the girl with a dollar in her pocket and a dream when I arrive in 2014. I ended up living in a massive $20 million mansion of a Hollywood producer (and his lovely wife) who was setting me up. I thought he was legit but the ‘LA’ sh*t happened. Let’s just say the stories you are about Hollywood are spot on.

During that time in LA tho you recorded with Robbie Williams?
He is the most amazing, beautiful, normal guy. I recorded vocals in his house – his mum kept coming in giving me the most amazing tequila (Robbie was no longer drinking). I pinched myself remembering how my first job at Balwyn Macca’s got me the money to buy a ticket to his concert. The album was drum and bass but wasn’t released.

Most rando party?
I had been at a music festival in New Orleans, and at the airport, decided I really didn’t want to go back west. Instead, as my LA flight was boarding I bought a ticket to NYC. I did a FB shout out for a place to crash and when my plane touched down I had a flat in Manhattan. That night, I went out solo to check Up And Down Club and ended up at Carmelo Anthony’s birthday (he was a huge NBA star but I had no idea who he was) and was hanging with Alicia Keyes, Nas and Busta Rhymes. Security told me Carmelo wanted to say hi, and when I went over, he pulled me into his lap. We started chatting and I said “So, what do you do?” – he was so shocked. He told me to get off him and go away. Fair enough, I mean it was his birthday.

Then back to Japan?
I got a call to say my anime character was blowing up so I had to come back.

And now?
I take celebs around Tokyo when they’re here and do some producing and music stuff still. Heading to Maldives to be entertainment director at a six star resort for six months. Then, given all the sh*t I went through “trying to make it” – I still haven’t even told you a 99% of the stories – I am coming back to start my own talent agency in Tokyo. I’ll be the Ari Gold of Asia. Just less of a d*ck. And with way more contacts.