BOOK REVIEW by Meredith Fuller Psychologist & Author, Lifemember Australian Association of Psychological Type AusAPT
This book, by a member of AusAPT (Australian Association of Psychological Type) certainly contributes to our search for triumphant healing, and a retrospective understanding for those destructive relationships that can entrap us. In 80 pages, this is an accessible read as she explores why people stay in abusive relationships in connection with an examination of the archetypes that Caroline Myss outlines in her book, ‘Sacred Contracts’ (2001)
As a psychologist, I have noticed how often a woman will connect with a partner who unconsciously reminds them of either a good or bad parent (the emotional qualities of their mother or father) and this is complicated by the archetypal roles that we may inherit. Our inner blueprints of how we relate to each other are derived from many sources – such as parents, teachers, and the media – but we do tap into the universal unconscious sources that remain in our psyches as ancestral traits.
In addition to our individuality, a woman may also enact internal ‘ancient’ archetypal roles and family-of-origin relatedness to others; these may alter over time and circumstance. We may occupy many, some, or remain locked in one particular unconscious role.
We may enact the ‘orphan’, ‘performer’, ‘martyr’ or ‘amazon’. If our archetypal roles, and our unconscious methods of communicating in a partnership are derived from our family of origin, we can begin to see how problematic this may be when they don’t assist us in our everyday here-and-now experiences.
Cecile seeks to understand the unconscious ties that may bind us in harmful relationships and explains why so many women are rendered incapable of leaving. There may something more primeval looming beneath our frozen, ‘Pollyanna’, or paralysed responses to relationships that don’t serve us well.
This is a beautifully constructed gift for so many women; those who have been entrapped, those who struggle to understand how these pairings could occur, and those who professionally accompany anyone who has endured. Thank goodness for intelligence in the little girl who was destined to survive and thrive.
Such an important book – this work is clever, profound, moving, and will help so many people. As such, I was delighted to provide the Foreword.
Cecile’s writing keeps the reader intrigued and empathic as she explores the unconscious elements that assist us to comprehend the classic ‘bad boy’ material in this tale of tainted love.
Cecile’s parallel process with the bullterrier makes it easy for the reader to quickly connect and appreciate how intelligent, high functioning women can be seduced by a harmful man. Her writing is strong and real; a cautionary tale with a satisfying ending.
2019 pub indiemosh.com.au ebooks and POD.
NB: AusAPT Melbourne Conference will be held 21 – 24 NOVEMBER
further details available on Australian Association of Psychological Type facebook page