There is no shortcut to being “that” guy.
You have to cultivate the right mindset, put in the hard work, and be effortless about it.
But all this becomes easier once you know the proper steps to follow. Or the things you should avoid.
So, it’s time to forget wishing and start hustling.
Visualize Yourself as Being a High-Value Man
Whether inspired by David Goggins’ “Master Your Mind” Or Einstein’s idea of imagination, becoming a high-value man starts with visualization.
For the starting point, I suggest acknowledging your worth.
It’s important to understand that you, as a man, have unique qualities and strengths.
Utilize these and come up with things you want to achieve. There is no need to be fancy; just have a clear picture of your ideal future.
This will lay the groundwork for success and help adopt a proactive approach.
However, don’t fall into the old-age trap of being obsessed with just thinking and not taking any steps.
Remember, visualization is just a one-time process. Once you get over it, it’s time to do the work.
Set Goals and Purposes
The next step to becoming a high-value man is to align your goals. For the better, I suggest writing them down.
However, this, too, can come up as a double-edged sword.
Set high standards for yourself.
But don’t be the guy following a complex framework of goal setting.
Instead, take a “less is more” approach. Only focus on goals that will matter in the next couple of years or have long-lasting benefits.
Also, don’t go and announce your goals to everyone.
Research shows that being overly expressive about goal setting is the reason for creating positive fantasy.
It sometimes also gives a false sense of accomplishment.
So, if you want to be that guy, set your goals to walk the walk and not talk the talk.
Exude Confidence and Self-Esteem
Being a high-value man is about feeling confident and self-assured.
It doesn’t mean you have to come out on top in every situation.
It’s about having a clear-headed attitude about handling things that come your way. This obviously takes time and practice.
To start off, you first have to reaffirm what you’ve visualized about yourself.
For a commanding presence, work on your body language. It means channeling your energy into maintaining good posture, making eye contact, and speaking clearly.
Many guys opt for the “fake it till you make it” attitude for a confidence boost.
However, it only works if you take it as an alternative to practice and not to “lie through your teeth.”
Confidence also helps boost self-esteem, an essential part of becoming a high-value man.
Other things that build self-esteem are authenticity, learning from setbacks, and never comparing yourself to others.
Develop High Emotional Intelligence
Your ability to understand and regulate emotions goes a long way to becoming your best version.
I also think it’s one of the secrets to healthy relationships.
Developing emotional intelligence starts with awareness. The idea of paying attention to your feelings and reactions can do wonders for you.
Understand your emotional response (without judgment) and regulate it.
Regulation involves not allowing your emotions to control your actions.
It’s a simple practice that whenever you feel emotionally overwhelmed, always take a step back. It will prevent conflicts and misunderstandings.
Using emotional intelligence to embrace resilience is also essential for personal growth.
It means that you learn from mistakes, not dwell on them.
Lastly, you can’t become a high-value man without being empathic.
Listen to others and validate their feelings to build stronger, meaningful relationships.
Work on Mastering Your Communication Skills
If you want to make people an offer they can’t refuse, make sure you communicate it well.
In the real world, this translates to expressing yourself effectively and listening to the other person.
The way to master communication skills starts by understanding your audience.
You may give the most magical talk, but it is still a waffle if it’s not for the right people.
So, the art of reading the room will be the foundation of your communication skills.
Next comes delivering your message. The best approach here is to be brief yet specific. Taking a short pause before speaking will help.
Active listening is another part of good communication. Don’t just wait for your turn to say what you have in mind.
Understand what the other person is saying and then respond genuinely. It’s a subtle quality of a high-value man.
Lastly, don’t forget those non-verbal skills. Whatever you say, say it with confidence.
Develop a Self-Care Routine
It seems such a dated term that many guys think of self-care as some sort of checklist.
But in reality, these include habits that promote your overall well-being.
There is no one-size-fits-all self-care routine. You have to identify what recharges you.
It can be anything from morning meditation to reading a good book or playing sports.
I know it can be difficult to identify, but personalized self-care routines are the best for growth.
Equally important is consistency. Just like work habits, if you want to be that guy, make the self-care routine non-negotiable.
Whether 15 minutes of morning meditation or half an hour to unwind in the evening, prioritize self-care daily.
Start Working Out Daily
Repeat after me: If you want people to respect you, respect your body first.
This means working out daily or, colloquially speaking, going to the gym five times a week.
Remember that working out has benefits for both physical and mental health.
It boosts confidence, builds self-esteem, and creates the body language of a truly high-value gentleman.
Talking about the actual workouts, you need to be realistic here.
Whether just becoming more active, losing weight, or gaining muscle, have clear goals.
Don’t be the guy who wants to become Sam Sulek every January but neglects the gym for the rest of the year.
Consistency is your best friend. Also, listen to your body. Push the limits, but don’t make yourself prone to injury.
A healthy diet and good sleep go hand in hand with the workouts.
Make sure you’re eating moderately and giving your body appropriate rest to become your best self.
Find a Way to Make Money (Lots of It)
It’s old-school, but it’s true: the money you make actually determines your value.
Like, you can go to the gym daily and have all the knowledge in the world, but nobody will care if you don’t make enough.
So, as a high-value man, what should you do? Find a way to make lots of money.
Now, this requires hard work, dedication, and oftentimes a bit of creativity.
But before that, you should have skills that people are willing to pay for.
Once this is sorted, you can go two ways.
First is the matrix schedule of working 9-5. Here, you’ll be paid for your time.
The alternative is to abide by the maxim “identify the problem, then sell the solution.” It comes with a risk but an equally big reward.
And with the internet and everything, there are multiple avenues to make money.
You just have to stay dedicated to one thing and wait for your turn to score the home run.
Improve Your Dressing and Fashion Style
Even if you try, you’ll be hard-pressed to find even a single high-value man lacking style.
It’s because big dreams need a polished package.
And if you want to be that guy, make sure your presentation matches your ambition.
Style, however, can be personal. Therefore, I recommend spending a good time learning the art of style.
You can start by understanding your body type. Like how different clothes should fit your body, shoulders, around the chest, etc.
And prioritize quality over quantity. Having a full-stock walk-in wardrobe is not necessary.
Instead, focus on building a minimal capsule wardrobe with versatile pieces across different dress codes.
It’s also important to learn color matching, mixing the patterns, and the proper way of layering.
It will help you develop a signature style, and that’s one way to look and feel confident.
A key piece of advice to improve your style is to rise above trends and wear tried-and-tested classic garments.
Pair these with some cool accessories, and you’ll look dependably stylish without even trying.
Connect with Successful and Like-Minded People
Believe it or not, Jim Rohn’s idea that “You become who you surround yourself with” applies to all of us.
And if you want to be a high-value guy, make sure you spend time with the right people.
However, here is the cliche. If you’re not successful yourself, why will a bunch of smart, wealthy people spend time with you? They never would.
Therefore, your goal shouldn’t be to seek validation from those who already have it.
Instead, find like-minded people who are on the same journey and equally passionate as you.
This way, you’ll build much stronger relationships.
You can take the example of Bill Gates, Paul Allen, and Steve Balmer here.
They became friends at an early age because of their like-mindedness and later became the most successful people in the world.
Lastly, you should also focus on networking with people from other industries.
Attending conferences, going to new places, and exploring hobbies are some ways to meet interesting people.
Remember that good communication skills, a helping mindset, and authenticity help attract other high-value people.
Be Honorable, But Courageous
Failure is never pleasant and, at times, can be crushing. Still, it’s better than not taking the chance.
Or, as Michael Scott mentions, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”
Nobody likes naive men. Therefore, to be that guy, you must show courage by taking the step.
At the same time, being honorable about it. It means having a strong ethical code and showing integrity, no matter what.
Being truthful and fair are some other qualities that can make you an honorable, high-value guy.
I recommend taking inspiration from Dale Carnegie’s idea of being honorable.
It says taking responsibility for your actions and standing for what’s right. Also, never compromise on self-respect.
Never Neglect Your Mental Health
The whole idea of becoming a high-value guy revolves around being mentally tough.
And that somehow links to good mental health.
For you, this means not only making the right moves but also training your mind.
As a start, I suggest reading books on self-improvement and autobiographies of other high-value people.
This way, you’ll develop a thought process of thinking like a winner.
You can move to things like practicing mindfulness and learning stress management later.
These will help you stay calm and relaxed even in the most challenging circumstances.
Since I’ve already talked about the importance of exercise, it will improve mental health too. And so does spending time with family and friends.
Lastly, I recommend that you don’t be too hard on yourself. Don’t think all the time. Sometimes, you have to live the easy way.
Always Learn Something New
Being in pursuit of learning new things will give you one important thing: a growth mindset.
Creativity and confidence are also by-products.
I am not saying you need to do some kind of crazy side-quest to be that guy.
The intent matters. Even start with something small, like learning how to code or a new language.
Going to new places and exploring different hobbies like painting or brewing coffee also helps.
The point is, don’t be a static and dull person. Always strive to explore new things.
It will help you stay relevant and connect with people.
