Hazel – Hottest 100

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This is Hazel. She is about to start Prep and has just discovered her first wobbly tooth. She is also amped AF for the weekend cos she is the youngest Hottest 100 voter in the country.

What does your top 10 look like?
Alex Lahey – Every Day’s The Weekend
Baker Boy – Marryuna {Ft. Yirrmal}
Methyl Ethel – Ubu
Mallrat – Better
Jarami – Hear This
Tash Sultana – Mystik
The Rubens – Million Man
Ruby Fields – P Plates
Billie Eilish – Bellyache
E^ST – Life Goes On

Marryuna is da bombest song of the last 100 years –
It’s one of my favourite songs and it makes me feel like wavey. Like up in the air. But it’s kind of like flying a kite, like I’m the kite.

Holla gurl I feel ya. Equal marriage rights is pretty good too don’t you reckon?
I loved that time. Our team won. And I love winning too. It made me feel good. It’s good that everyone can get married because they can get someone to love if they don’t already have someone. And it’s good because people need to learn that we all can listen to the same music. Sam (at kinder) says there are boy songs and girls songs but I told him he was wrong. You don’t need a penis to listen to boy songs. Anybody can. I listen to music with my whole body, even my teeth, and especially my wobbly tooth.
(side note from Hazel’s mum: this boy girl music story is one she tells a lot, including to Santa last year when he visited her grandparent’s church)

Sam sounds like a c*nt. Was there anything else good that happened last year?
No. That’s all. Can you tell Dad how to cut up my apples properly?

Nah mate. So you’re starting school this year?
I get to make new friends and I have to bring a lunch box cos otherwise you can’t get lunch. I’m kind of nervous about making new friends. I was thinking I could try to be nice and get them that way. And I want to know my teacher’s names. And learn about growing up.

When you’re grown up what do you want to do?
Have three childs. I want to work at the Arts Centre. And I want to help people with their problems.

Do you have a problem with selling body parts aka your wobbly tooth?
No. I’m looking forward to the tooth fairy to give me lollies or fairy dust. Or maybe both. The fairy will come and get my tooth and it will take it to Santa cos they live with Santa.

Yeah nah don’t think that is right. Final question – how do you get people to like you?
I’d give them flowers to show I appreciate them.

Ok Haze you should actually start a business teaching men of Melbourne how to date.

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