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Angharad – Bogan Bali Weddings

This is Angharad.
At 16 she flicked Australia off to go study in Germany because she didn’t want to be basic. She came back to climb the banking ladder and resigned once awarded salesperson of the year #peakbankerwanker. She ended an 8yr relationship after a yoga teacher training course, then moved to Singapore to run a German school. After a couple of years, she moved to Bali to be a wedding planner, but got drunk at a brunch and decided to start her own scuba diving business in Canguu.

Lots of life changes man – which was the hardest? 
Starting my own business no question. It dawned on me drunk at that brunch, I had been living according to someone else’s handbook, and I would never be truly happy until I was living according to mine. It was tough going from employee to business owner and putting all my dolla dolla bills into it – adulting rather than being an ant.

You’re brave, I would wee my lil ant pants. Tell me about the bogan weddings in Bali?
There were many. They were mostly from Perth. Some from Darwin.

As a planner, can you spot who will break up?
Absolutely. You can tell during the photoshoot after the ceremony who is genuinely in love.

Are the beach weddings the most boags?
Yeah for sure. They would cost $12K and would attract old Boris’s down in their speedo’s, standing there drinking Bintangs, scratching their sweaty chest hair, watching the brides walk down the aisle like it was on the resort entertainment schedule.

Best bride and groom?
She had fake b00bs and her dress was insane – mesh that went to the belly button, strapless and backless, those necklace things you can get for your feet, masses of hair extensions and the obligatory tramp stamp exposed. He had neck tatts, a big hoop earring, gel spiked hair and lost his wedding ring in the swimming pool an hour after. Their kid was the ring bearer and screamed the entire ceremony. I loved them they were my favourite couple and were totally in love.

What are the must have’s for bogan weddings?
– min 7 bridesmaids and matching groomsmen
– public beach venue
– frangipani flower arch. Bonus points for a love-heart shape
– overbearing mother of the bride / the groom drunk before the ceremony. Preferably both.
– dress cut-outs to expose back tattoos
– groomsmen wearing linen: usually pale blue that accentuates sweat
– Oakley sunglasses in photos
– chucking a tanty because the free-flow beer is not Bintang
– drama, drama and more drama.

Worst wedding you’ve seen?
One Bridezilla made me climb up her legs and pull her G-string off with a finger because her dress was so tight you could see it’s outline. During the groom’s speech, fireworks started further down the beach, and the bride absolutely lost her sh*t because they were ‘too loud’. She then began a screaming match with her new mother-in-law, shut her own wedding down at 1030pm and at 3am security were called to their trashed room to talk the groom literally off the edge of the balcony.

Stand out story?
One couple wanted to release some doves. I was full peaking about it because #animalrights, and managed to talk them down from seven to two. I bought two white pigeons from a market in the depths of Denpasar and when it came to the release, the cage nearly fell apart and the pigeons were so tired from being cooped up all day, they flew directly up to the roof above the couple and just sat there looking down at them. The couple pssed themselves laughing. We re-wrote the live-animal policy after that.

Why did you throw that in for scuba?
Are you fcking kidding me? Is that a real question?

Er no, no.. um.. tell me about your bisness.
We are the only scuba company in Bali specialising in teaching kids to dive – ages 8 and up. Sprinks should come and dive with us when they are here: we are called Intrinity.

The post Angharad – Bogan Bali Weddings appeared first on The Sprinkler.

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