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Monday, May 23, 2022

3 – 5 March



Maddawgs of Melbourne

This is Shaun. His life changed when he turned on the telly one day.

He grew up in Baddaginnie (near Benalla) with his trucker Dad, nurse Mum, three older brothers, and a younger sister. They lived the typical country LYF swimming in dams, dodging snakes, snogging cousins and eating dirt. All roads were leading to Shaun being a bonafide cuntry boy, until he switched on the telly and Heartbreak High came on. Up on screen was the kewlest person imaginable – the ultimate bad@ss who 1) lived in a warehouse; 2) rolled with a kewl krew; 3) smooched on a mega-bae; and 4) had a fully siqq eyebrow ring. Sitting there on the floor in the lounge room in the middle of country Victoria, Shaun made a life changing decision: one day he would be as kewl as Drazick. He asked mama where he could find a warehouse and once he was of age, he packed his swag and headed south for tinseltown to fulfill those #WAREHOUSEDREAMZ.

Once in Melbs he got a job booking bands and while on the toot, found a warehouse in Fitzroy to rent and badda-bing Shaun had himself his Drazic Dreamland. He moved in and covered the huge costs by renting out floor space to South Americans backpackers, building new rooms – including a second level complete with a milk crate stair case – out of things they found on the street. A few years later, the council found out about the Church of Heartbreak High and tore down Shaun’s empire. But that didn’t matter cos this guy had MADE HIS DREAMZ COME TREW.

To complete the checklist Shaun 1) has turned the warehouse into the hella successful exhibition studio Juddy Roller; 2) manages the country’s best street artists; 3) has his own mega bae (who you may remember); and 4) STOP – no deal for Shauno on the eyebrow ring.

Shaun is the main man behind the Brim Silo Art Trails as well as Wall To Wall Festival which is on 7th – 9th April in Benalla and sees 27 of the best international and local street artists turn this country town into an outdoor #melbournelaneway.

So, head yawself to Wall To Wall for that weekend and if you tell him you’re a Sprink, Shaun promises to buy you a beer.

This weekend in Melbourne

Virgin Australia Melbourne Fashion Festival @ Melbs bae (1-19 March) – Sir Dicky shaves his legs and directs the fashun curious down the aisle noting that there are many exists that could be behind you #buymeadrinkfirst
Australian International Air Show @ Avalon (3 – 5 March) – not interested? Just don’t look up.
White Night Ballarat @ The Rat (4 March only) – Sovereign Hill staff creep out from the shadows to boil billy tea on Sturt Street and watch creeps from the city  enjoy their town as it gets SUPER LIT boiiiiiii… also GOLD (I can’t not)
Jurassic Park live in concert @ MSO (3 – 4 Mar) – “rawr” means I love you in dinosaur #2008Flashbacks
All American Block Party @ Food Truck Park (3-5 March) – quarterbacks with perfect teeth drink out of red cups and sexualise women. A total one-off.
Collective Vision 130 Years @ Bendigo Art Gallery (4 March – 28 May) – the team from the Fred Hollows Foundation share selfies with seeing eye dogs who bark each time Hugo Weaving starts heading the wrong way (that was a good film, no?).
Dancing with Death @ Arts Centre  (2 – 4 March) – then getting a drink with him at the bar, flirting a little, touching your hair a lot. He asks you if you want to go somewhere quieter and you look shyly at him and agree. He takes you to QBar and you dance with a mop, have a drink with Derryn Hinch and request My Island Home by Christene Anu which they miraculously play as the sun comes up. True story.
Kilmore Coutry Music Festival and Ute Competition @ Kilmore (4-5 March) – That is ~literally~ not enough. Kill more.
Australian International Documentary Conference 2017 @ ACMI (5-8 Mar) – the guys from Making a Murderer and the entire creative team from SBS catch up.
John Thorn’s Background Boy @ Butterfly Club (28 Feb – 5 Mar) – I don’t need to lose my job. Imma leave this one here.
2017 Reptile and Amphibian Expo@ Showgrounds (4 March) – omfreaking gee I don’t think I have ever been so excited for an event since the Melbourne International Flower and Garden Show. Like actually tho #hangingbasketcompetitor2014-17
1950’s Pool Party @ Mooramong Homestead (4 March) – a party with 1,000 babies. Sigh. This is a reference to the baby boom after WW2. Also a solid reason to not include this joke if it needs explaining.
Shepparton Beach Volleyball Competition @ Sheppo (3-5 Mar) – hot bodies head to Sheppo.  For the first time ever. Oh no she di-ent.
Shepparton Festival @ Sheppo (1 – 19 Mar) – oh wow there are other things on besides perving. Phew cos I’m sooooo not into that #personality
Warrnabool Suffer Fest Tri @ the Bool (4-5 March) – and the lord decreed they gather at the shoreline of The Bool listening to Shania Twain on repeat to repent their sins and suffer like JC on the cross
Revving the River Festival @ Echuca (3 – 5 Mar) – get your motorboats running, head em up the Murray, looking for adventure and whatever comes your way.. which will probably be a cod
Macedon Ranges Music Festival @ Macedon (4 Mar) – beautifully coloured leaves fall from the trees always moving forwards never back, upwards never forwards and always twirling, twirling, twirling.
Mt Baw Baw Trail Run Festival @ Mt B.B (4 Mar) – run through the forest RUN
The Australian Chamberlain Championships and Tractor Pull @ Corowa (4 –  5 Mar) – babies, dingos and Meryl Streep are 100% invited.

Eat / Drink by The Sprink

A review by our social media coordinator Sam.

MSO Plays The Russians @ Sidney Myer Music Bowl
And let me tell you, people were Russian to get a place on the grass. I arrived at 4:45pm. My friends were late – “walking slowly we sweaty’ – but they redeemed themselves. I’m talkin’ cheeses, wines, breads, fruits, QUINCE PASTE.

It was a hella hot arvo, but turned into an ace Melbourne night. The sea of people was getting bigger, and bigger, and the night was close to kickin off. Now, disclaimer: classical music is not my forte (side note, I’ve just found out that forte is some sort of musical word…), I’m more of a Delta G kind of guy. I was out of my depth. I didn’t even know how to pronounce Tchaikovsky, and to be perfectly frank, I still don’t. But that don’t matter, gurl.

The music began. Personal space was no longer an issue. We, as the audience, were one. ONE BEING.

Interval came and went, timed perfectly with the sunset. The bats began to fly overhead, the city skyline was practically on top of us, and the music began to play. At this point of the night my wine and cheese buzz was starting to wear off. I lay on the grass, became one with a mosquito and watched the stars come out while the Orchestra played Tchaikovsky’s Sleeping Beauty. A stunning piece accompanied by a stunning view; suddenly I felt as though I was the only person there. SPOILER: tho I wasn’t ‘cos the gal pals next to me kept talking about what constitutes as being a sex slave #MELBOURNEHOOKERS

IT WAS FUN. MSO have an event on this Friday/Saturday. YOU SHOULD GO AND SEE THE DINOSAURS #JurassicPark

3 – 5 march