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Melbourne
Monday, May 23, 2022

19 – 21 July

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Scando Film Festival @ Melb – good to look at. Again. And again. And again. 
Melbourne Tartan Festival @ Melb – BYO shortbread + undies + James McAvoy.
Melbourne Doco Festival @ Melb – the underpaid wear leather jackets and pretend they don’t live off the smell of popcorn or drink their own sad, sad tears *applies for accreditation for 2020*
MMA FIGHT @ Chadstone – Pippa The Human Weapon is tearing apart the ring again, defending her title. Sprink will be there cheering safely on the sidelines from not inside the cage. Ever. This face makes the money, honey.
Come From Away @ Melb – how has every single person *of taste* I know seen this already? It is supposed to be sah gaad I AM DYING TO SEE THIS someone invite me thank you
Handmade @ Builders Arms – a tale *and an afterparty* 
Tastes of Central Geelong @ Melb – specifically central so tastes like diesel and Cameron Ling’s hair products.
Castlemaine Documentary Film Fest @ The Maine – can we just appreciate James McAvoy one more time cheers
Smith Street Dreaming @ Collinghood – don’t make a reference to The Castle, don’t make a reference to The Castle
Spoken Word & Poetry Festival @ Melb – doing exactly the same things as rappers, but with far less… sex
Shakespeare in Love @ Melb – more coffeeth, less Gwyneth
Bring It On The Musical @ city – *make a jazz hands joke before I press send*
Open House Melbourne @ CBD – the one day a year architects think they matter

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